Laura Angilee Murray

Wednesday, June 22, 2022

Three rivers equal one body 36"x48" I have since painted on this one too. I paint faster than i can keep up with.

While calculating the probability of actually completing a sentence, I reflected on the cost of water. She turned to me and said, "It couldn't have been you there. I am sure it had to be someone else. Although, she really did look like you, it is very unlikely we were ever in the same place at the same time." As if I didn't know where I had been! I can't believe that she can just snow herself into thinking that. How bad is it if you lie to yourself repeatedly? When do you actually lose touch with reality completely? She was standing there beside me....I could never forget that profile. She has these brilliant green eyes: kind, but hiding a deep intelligence and sadness about the world. I coulda been a goner right then and there, but she just smiled a weary smile reserved for anyone who happened to be in her line of sight at the time. I knew that she was either busy or unavailable in that moment and left it alone. I dunno, I was smoky and bloated from the beer...not my best pickup look. If only I could have known how much I would love her later. I would have grabbed her by her face and made her look at me. I don't care what she says, I can still see her in that red dress, barefoot on the beach. Why did she do this? How can she make such a quick decision? She must just be terrified and in denial. Doesn't she understand that I am what is best for her? We could spend our days discussing art and contemplating the universe! Isn't that what she needs? Isn't that what she wants? Me arranging everything for her while she writes and paints, free from all other distractions? Damn her.

Update

This is the updated version. The photo is pretty bad, but it is late and there is no light 'cept for the flashbulb here. I will change this out tomorrow and add some other stuff that I am working on.